Shift

Happy March! It’s been unseasonably mild in Minneapolis – the snow is melting, the birds are chirping, and the sun has been shining. Makes me hopeful that spring is right around the corner so I can catch a glimpse of the yellow daffodils I planted late last fall.

February, in many ways, was a disappointment. I broke my streak of not spending more than my allotted budget for food… I started strong, but at some point it was easier to pretend I was a millionaire. It feels like the equivilent of going off the deep end financially, but it’s been worse. A testament to how far I have come, and the conscientiousness I have worked to build.

The most disappointing part, however, is how I feel. I feel “meh”. My sleep is noticeably disrupted and my hunger cues have been completely out of whack. It’s a challenging space to inhabit, and I find myself pensive. The older I get, the harder it is to ignore the impact different foods have on my body.

So as I say goodbye to February, I choose to start again. Back to budgets. Back to cooking at home, controlling ingredients. Back to making more balanced choices in the interest of my overall well-being.

The mindset shift is critical, and it is a choice. We are wired to think certain ways. For some of us, we have decades of less-than-ideal patterns to address. To take on changing our patterns requires courage, and you can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.

Airports are always a rabbit hole for me. It’s so easy to make justifications when everything else is an inconvenience. On my outbound flight today, I made a choice. A little choice, but a choice nonetheless. I didn’t have time to eat breakfast before I left for the airport, so I made the decision to get coffee and some kind of breakfast item at the airport.

I was hungry. I normally don’t make great food choices when I am hungry bc my brain stops cooperating. However, in a moment of clarity/divine intervention, I realized that I could have a more balanced breakfast if I had a mini version of the breakfast sandwich with a fruit cup to go with it. Mindblowing.

Breakthroughs are normally small, seemingly insignificant to others but a huge deal to the person experiencing the breakthrough. Allow me to say, this was a breakthrough for me. The awareness I had around my choice allowed me to experience my meal differently – to enjoy the food, to actually savor the flavor of the fruit.

Shift happens in a variety of ways. I am starting this morning, and this month, grateful for the experience of awareness I had around my meal. I look forward to practicing awareness throughout March to see where else Shift can occur; the next right step.