The Hard No

Much like the boat being tossed in the lake from my blog last weekend, I’ve felt unanchored. I’ve been working on keeping my head above water while being pulled in too many different directions, unsuccessfully trying to balance what feels like a million different “need to’s”, “have to’s”, and “want to’s”. It has felt like I have no control and am not making headway on anything. Sound familiar?

The descent into the lost-self chaos is a slow, muddy road. It is seductive to think that you aren’t that far gone from where you started until you look around and realize that you don’t recognize anyone or anything anymore, including yourself. Numb is the feeling that follows you around, and you realize you’ve traded in living for survival. That list of things that you need to attend to – groceries, yard work, laundry, house cleaning, appointments, client calls, birthday parties, family outings, social events – is always growing, and never-ending. Add in a job/career, friendships/relationships, aging parents/children… it brings things to a whole different level. If you are navigating all of this without someone at your side, you have earned Superhero status.

As I was driving this morning, a phrase kept coming into my head: “If it isn’t a hell yes, it’s a no.” Bingo. I’ve had too many “Um, yeah sure” and “Alright” as poor substitutes for my “Hell Yes” recently, and I’ve lost my time and energy in the process. For me, wake up calls come fast and furious. Once or twice a year, I do life and financial inventories to ensure that I am heading the in the direction I want to be and that I’m in the driver’s seat. I’ve overdue for an inventory and some hard No’s in my life to make room for the Hell Yes’s.

This is about priorities; I invite you to get back in the driver’s seat, effective immediately. Life is too short to waste on people, places and things that don’t bring or add joy to your life. Today, joy looked like sleeping in and a daycation that included a wine tasting, Mexican, and a cupcake splurge. On a completely need-to-know basis: fresh strawberry, red velvet, brownie, and strawberry lemonade – because I couldn’t decide. Say it with me now – Hell Yes! #indulge

QOTD: “It it isn’t a hell yes, it’s a no.” ~ Derek Silvas

Mood: It’s My Birthday –, Cody Wise

Share: Are you good at saying No so you have room for Hell Yes in your life? Do you regularly take inventory of your life and finances to ensure that you are headed in the direction you want your life to be going?

2 thoughts on “The Hard No”

  1. Hell, yes! I start my creative writing MFA on Monday. I started saying no to an MFA in creative writing because I had undergrad student loans, children in school, and needed a ”serious” and ”responsible” career. I started saying Hell Yes to my literary art in 2012. The universe challenge me. I left my job, lost my home, faced unexpected medical crisis with my spouse, experienced homelessness, and often felt scared. But I never stopped saying Hell Yes to my art. And then another unexpected door opened — a chance, after 20 years, to go get that MFA. There are lots of reasons not to do it. Not everyone supports me or thinks it’s a good idea. But I do. What all the bumps and detours taught me now are going to school with me. Hell Yes still confronts our demons, the world still gives us crap, but it also gives us meaning and purpose.

    And Hell Yes, I want some cupcakes! ❤️


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